Giving Up the Ghost:
A Daughter's Memoir
By Samantha Rose
Pre-order today for a chance to win a book-themed care package!
You may never forget, but you can heal.
New York Times bestselling ghostwriter, Samantha Rose, steps forward to unravel the mystery surrounding her mother’s suicide. What begins as a solitary journey of grief and discovery shifts form when her mother returns from the shadows beyond to reconcile her irreversible choice. Raw, deeply revealing, and with resilient humor throughout, Giving Up the Ghost explores the layered complexity of mental health, the love between mothers and daughters, and how, in the aftermath of inconceivable loss, we can release our inner ghosts and write a new story for ourselves.
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What Others Are Saying About Giving Up the Ghost
“A beautifully written and piercing reflection on grief, the bonds between mothers and daughters, and the importance of finding your own voice. Rose’s journey of resilience inspires us to dig deep for the answers that will set us free and that have the power to ripple outward and offer hope and healing to us all.”
—CATHY HELLER, podcast host and author of Abundant Ever After
“Heartbreaking, raw, honest, and inspiring… Samantha Rose may have just put herself out of business as a ghostwriter, because she is anything but in this deeply personal and moving account of her firsthand experience with suicide. In her refreshing voice, she takes us on a compelling journey as she bravely navigates her way through grief’s darkness, moving from the depths of shadow and transcending into higher light. This book serves as a powerful reminder that love never dies and we are never truly alone.”
—REBECCA ROSEN, author of the national and international bestseller, Spirited
Author Note: Why I Wrote This Book
When my mother died by suicide in the early spring of 2020, I retreated into isolation with my grief. I was shocked by the “how”—the dramatic manner in which she died—and I was also in disbelief that someone who’d radiated palpable light her entire life had fallen into darkness. Of course, I was aware that mental illness was and is an urgent and growing public health crisis in our country and that in Sonoma County, where I live, the numbers of suicide are disproportionately high. But in my own family? Unthinkable.
Like so many survivors of suicide, I struggled to make sense of the nonsensical. I opened my own amateur investigation into the mystery surrounding my mother’s death, rewinding the timeline, playing it back slowly, searching for missing details. My questions about her suicide wouldn’t release me, and my pleas for answers went unmet. Several well-intentioned friends sent me books on depression and grief that might explain what I was experiencing and to help me “get through it,” and they piled up on my nightstand. I couldn’t make space for anyone else’s horror, not yet, and the titles alone caused me to recoil in pain. With no clear direction forward, I leaned into what I’m trained to do—I started taking notes as a way to process my complicated feelings and to help me understand how a tragedy of this magnitude had shown up on a Tuesday, unwelcome at my front door.
And then, an unexpected thing happened.
Not right away, but within a few months of her death, my mother slipped out from the shadows and walked into my dreams and began answering some of my most burning questions—like, why did you do this? How could you do this? And why didn’t you let me help you? While I could easily recall my mother’s voice, choosing from a lifetime of conversations between the two of us, what I heard in the dreams was something else, it was a voice that felt present, telling me things I hadn’t known before, revealing truths that were important for me to hear, so naturally, I did as writers do—I wrote every word down.
Giving Up the Ghost is a memoir about a ghostwriter who “ghosts” a ghost. Beyond that interplay, the narrative reveals hidden truths—about my mother’s death and about how I’d become a ghost in my own life—hiding, shrinking, no longer speaking for myself. This awakening surprised me, and then it took center stage as the most significant theme in my healing process. Ultimately, I hope my words inspire readers to similarly ask themselves: What does it mean to live in the shadows? Am I hiding? What am I reflecting to the world around me? Is it honest? What is the story I’m telling about my own life? And if I’ve lost my voice, or buried my truth in the shadows, am I ready to give up the ghost?