Giving Up the Ghost:
A Daughter's Memoir
By Samantha Rose
On Sale Now From Sibylline Press
You may never forget, but you can heal.
New York Times bestselling ghostwriter, Samantha Rose, steps forward to unravel the mystery surrounding her mother’s suicide. What begins as a solitary journey of grief and self-discovery shifts form when her mother returns from the shadows beyond to reconcile her irreversible choice. Raw, deeply revealing, and with resilient humor throughout, Giving Up the Ghost explores the layered complexity of mental health, the love between mothers and daughters, and how, in the aftermath of inconceivable loss, we can release our inner ghosts and write a new story for ourselves.
What Others Are Saying About Giving Up the Ghost
“An intimate, unfiltered, heart-wrenching, and, at times, hilarious account of a family story forever changed by suicide... a must-read for anyone coping with grief and surviving loss.”
—EVE RODSKY, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play
“Heartbreaking, raw, honest, and inspiring… Samantha Rose may have just put herself out of business as a ghostwriter, because she is anything but in this deeply personal and moving account of her firsthand experience with suicide. In her refreshing voice, she takes us on a compelling journey as she bravely navigates her way through grief’s darkness, moving from the depths of shadow and transcending into higher light. This book serves as a powerful reminder that love never dies and we are never truly alone.”
—REBECCA ROSEN, author of the national and international bestseller, Spirited
"A poignant tribute to Rose's mother and to herself. She traverses shock and grief sprinkled with blunt humor as she walks a journey none of us ever want to be on. Love, letting go, sadness, anger and discovering painful truths are all themes as she discovers hidden parts of her mother that lead to deeper understanding of herself. The ability to face and move through the unknown and her own dark fears open her up to becoming a fuller, freer person. A testament to Rose's strength and resilience all rolled into her poetic writing. We all grow beside her."
—TOVAH P. KLEIN, Ph.D., author of Raising Resilience: How to Help our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty
"Every memoir is, for better or worse, a measure of the author's courage. In Giving Up the Ghost, Samantha Rose shoulders emotional freight with extraordinary valor, grace, and sure-handed storytelling. This achingly honest account of a complicated grieving process is sure to stir raw emotion and vibrant book club discussions."
—JONI RODGERS, New York Times bestselling author/ghostwriter
"Giving Up the Ghost is a beautiful memoir of a daughter's journey to attempt to process and eventually try to understand suicide, loss and grief. Incredibly gripping and moving, Rose takes the reader on her journey with honesty and vulnerability. For anyone who has ever felt alone in their grief, this book will provide you with connection, comfort and eventually hope."
—SHERYL ZIEGLER, PsyD, bestselling author of Mommy Burnout and The Crucial Years
“Rose’s searingly honest memoir is both heart-wrenching and profoundly heartfelt. With raw vulnerability, she explores the intricate bonds between mothers and daughters—the stories we inherit, the lengths we go to protect, and the deep wounds left by what remains unspoken. In the aftermath of her mother’s suicide, Rose bravely searches for meaning. Through her journey with her therapeutic guide, she illuminates the quiet alchemy of healing—it is when we feel seen, known, and safe, that we can bend without breaking, gather our fractured pieces, reclaim our strength, and step fully into life.”
—DR. TANYA COTLER, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist specializing in maternal mental health and parent-child attachment, Toronto
“I devoured this memoir like the serving of spaghetti Samantha Rose uses to compare grief in my favorite passage, in which she describes sucking on the noodle of sadness and winding her fork around confusion before coming back to the meatball of anger. Giving Up the Ghost is a hearty, surprising, and, at times, delightful read. I found nourishment I didn’t know I needed within its pages—and I trust many other readers will feel the same.”
—COURTNEY COOK, author of The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces
“With a deft hand and skillful prose, Rose shows her journey from discovery and shock to reconciliation with her mother's guiding voice and spirit, in a moving memoir sure to linger with you.”
—JULIA PARK TRACEY, author of Silence and The Bereaved
"As a therapist, I know that the death is always hard, but perhaps nothing so much as an utterly unexpected suicide like the one that crashed into Rose's life. Giving Up the Ghost starts exactly there, in the angry realm of “How could you?” and brings the reader along for each earthy, intimate step as Rose and the ghost of her mom hash out what needed to be spoken between them. Every page rings with truth. There is no cookie cutter answer here about “resolving grief.” Instead, there is a captivating testament to the honest work of being real with someone important and accepting the truth they give back. In life or in death, that is always the bridge to love."
—CYNTHIA MCREYNOLDS, MFT, Psychotherapist, Sonoma County, CA
Author Note: Why I Wrote This Book
When my mother died by suicide in the early spring of 2020, I retreated into isolation with my grief. I was shocked by the “how”—the dramatic manner in which she died—and I was also in disbelief that someone who’d radiated palpable light her entire life had fallen into darkness. Of course, I was aware that mental illness was and is an urgent and growing public health crisis in our country and that in Sonoma County, where I live, the numbers of suicide are disproportionately high. But in my own family? Unthinkable.
Like so many survivors of suicide, I struggled to make sense of the nonsensical. I opened my own amateur investigation into the mystery surrounding my mother’s death, rewinding the timeline, playing it back slowly, searching for missing details. My questions about her suicide wouldn’t release me, and my pleas for answers went unmet. Several well-intentioned friends sent me books on depression and grief that might explain what I was experiencing and to help me “get through it,” and they piled up on my nightstand. I couldn’t make space for anyone else’s horror, not yet, and the titles alone caused me to recoil in pain. With no clear direction forward, I leaned into what I’m trained to do—I started taking notes as a way to process my complicated feelings and to help me understand how a tragedy of this magnitude had shown up on a Tuesday, unwelcome at my front door.
And then, an unexpected thing happened.
Not right away, but within a few months of her death, my mother slipped out from the shadows and walked into my dreams and began answering some of my most burning questions—like, why did you do this? How could you do this? And why didn’t you let me help you? While I could easily recall my mother’s voice, choosing from a lifetime of conversations between the two of us, what I heard in the dreams was something else, it was a voice that felt present, telling me things I hadn’t known before, revealing truths that were important for me to hear, so naturally, I did as writers do—I wrote every word down.
Giving Up the Ghost is a memoir about a ghostwriter who “ghosts” a ghost. Beyond that interplay, the narrative reveals hidden truths—about my mother’s death and about how I’d become a ghost in my own life—hiding, shrinking, no longer speaking for myself. This awakening surprised me, and then it took center stage as the most significant theme in my healing process. Ultimately, I hope my words inspire readers to similarly ask themselves: What does it mean to live in the shadows? Am I hiding? What am I reflecting to the world around me? Is it honest? What is the story I’m telling about my own life? And if I’ve lost my voice, or buried my truth in the shadows, am I ready to give up the ghost?